1. You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk when you hear the
word " snow."
2. You say the correct pronunciation
LANG-kist-er instead of the
mispronounced Lan-CAST-er, and LEB-en-in instead of the equally
incorrect Leb-a-NON.
3. You know the only way to make good fastnachts is to cook them in LARD.
4. You live within two miles of a plant that makes potato chips, corn
chips, pretzels,
candy, or ice cream, or that packages turkeys, beans, or bologna.
5. You ask the waitress for "dippy eggs" for breakfast.
6. You do things "once," as in "I'll go check in the back room
once."
7. You can stop along the road to buy fruits, vegetables, or crafts on the
"honor
system."
8. You know what REAL pot pie is.
9. YOUR turkey has "filling," not "stuffing," and most
certainly, NOT
"dressing."
10. You know that chicken corn soup from a fire house is the most nearly
perfect food on earth.
11. Your neighbors' names are
Driebelbis, Stoltzfus, Lebo, Peachey, Yoder or
anything ending in "- baugh or -ouch."
12. You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling off
today," and
"They're
calling for snow."
13. You've heard of distelfinks and hex signs.
14. Red Beet Eggs makes your list of top ten favorite foods.
15. You pronounce "Suite" as SUIT, not SWEET.
16. You say you're going out to the shed "AWHILE," instead of
"FOR AWHILE."
17. You only buy your beer and soda by the case.
18. You think the roads in any other state are smooth.
19. You know the Penn State cheer. (WE ARE...PENN STATE!)
20. Hearing horses clopping down a paved street doesn't bring you to the
window to see what's going on outside.
21. You never see any Confederate Flags, except on the Gettysburg
Battlefield.
22. You prefer Hershey's Chocolate to
Godiva.
23. You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west," and you know the
fastest way
to Philly is the Turnpike.
24. School closings due to snow take the radio stations a half an hour to
finish,
because just about every town has its own school district.
25. When someone says 1972, you think "Agnes," and when someone
says 1979,
you think "TMI."
26. You call sloppy joes "barbecue."
27. You think Medium Rare equals Well Done.
28. When it snows, they put cinders on the roads instead of sand.
29. You can give directions to Intercourse with a straight face.
30. You only own three spices: salt, pepper, ketchup.
31. You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.
32. You think the start of deer hunting is a National Holiday.
33. You head south to go to your cottage.
34. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
35. The municipality buys a Zamboni before a school bus.
36. You don't understand how anyone could watch a football game without
either halupki, halushki, or kielbasi.
37. You remember fondly days of youth known as "Snow Days".
NOTES:
I am really sick of people pronouncing the "N" in
Lancaster. It truly is pronounced LANG-kist-er.
Fastnachts and Dippy eggs are great stuff as are Red Beet
eggs!
